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Scene 1.

He has broken his backbone and will spend the rest of his life on a bed, staring
into a window through which the only thing to be seen is the sky. The only
thing that the SKYWATCHER can do is reach to the nightstand with his hand. On
the stand are many books. However, more often than reading, he reaches for a
photograph and carefully examines it for minutes. His mind starts singing:
"When you wish upon a star". Soon, it becomes, "when a red squirrel is far".
Then, "what the grayest songs are". Finally, it reaches the farthest corner of
stupidity: "when the rowboats row through tar". Meanwhile, the SITTING WOMAN
periodically appears in the room. She wipes the dust off the furniture with a
damp cloth. Meanwhile, she hums another song to herself. Like this, minutes
pass until she finally addresses the lying man.

SITTING WOMAN: So, tell me.

SKYWATCHER: You can see
yourself. Not a single cloud. I was so bored, I actually read one of these
books.

SITTING WOMAN: It's August.
And it's scorching.

SKYWATCHER: July was
better. Many clouds. But, anyways, weather doesn't make a difference for Her.
When it's hot, her Iceland

may be the only one. On a cloudy day, she may not appear at all.

SITTING WOMAN: It could be
the other way.

SKYWATCHER: It could be
totally different.

SITTING WOMAN: What do you
mean?

SKYWATCHER: I don't know. A
person can be alive, dead, or a Skywatcher...or, a woman on a cloud.

SITTING WOMAN: You think
she is a human?

SKYWATCHER: She looks like
one.

SITTING WOMAN: So? Ghosts
sometimes also look like humans.

SKYWATCHER: She isn't a
ghost. Here she is. [shows photo]

SITTING WOMAN: [skeptically] Well...

SKYWATCHER: Are you still
jealous of her?

SITTING WOMAN: Jealous?
Only humans experience jealousy. Do you really think I'm human?

SKYWATCHER: Of course. Who
else could you be?

SITTING WOMAN: I'm a
sitting woman. Humans have names. I do not.

SKYWATCHER: You had a name.

SITTING WOMAN: Yes, once.
Then, it floated away and that was that.

SKYWATCHER: [raising his voice with each
word, screaming by the end and flailing his hands, while holding the photo] You had a
name. You have a name. But I never call you by name because I forgot it. I
forgot both names: yours and mine. I remember only one name. One single name. [flailing the photo] Hers!
Hers! Hers!

SITTING WOMAN: [after calming his hands and
gently putting them down] Calm down, my boy, and don't lie. If we don't
remember our own names, we cannot remember hers. But forget about the
nicknames. At least our feelings are still in tact.

SKYWATCHER: They broke.
Like my backbone. They lay on the bed and look into the clear blue sky.

SITTING WOMAN: Too bad my
backbone is in one piece. I could never be your...but forget about that. Now, you
have a new romance. With this ghost from Iceland
.

SKYWATCHER: [laughing] But what
a strange romance!

SITTING WOMAN: You're
tired. Fine. Put her on the nightstand and sleep. {she takes the photo out of
his hands and puts it on the stand]

SKYWATCHER: I don't want to
miss her.

SITTING WOMAN: It is only
one o'clock in the afternoon. She doesn't come this early, you know that. Do
you want to eat before bed?

SKYWATHER: Thank you, my
girl, but I'm not hungry.

SITTING WOMAN: To drink?

SKYWATCHER: No. Can you
wake me up in two hours?

SITTING WOMAN: Fine.

SKYWATCHER: Bend down. [she bends down and he
caresses the top of her head] "Out on the street there's light, but there's no
street in sight. "

SITTING WOMAN: [purrs of happiness as she
continues his poem] "Out the window, there's rain. It patters on the window
pane."

SKYWATCHER: [suddenly lifts his arms] Go. And
wake me up at three!

SITTING WOMAN: [sings as she leaves] "When
you wish upon a star..."

Lights
dim. After a few seconds, the SITTING WOMAN comes back smiling into the room
and lights go up. The SKYWATCHER immediately wakes up.

SKYWATCHER: I slept so
soundly.

SITTING WOMAN: I'm so happy
for you.

SKYWATCHER: The sky is
absolutely clear! How boring!

SITTING WOMAN: Read.

SKYWATCHER: I don't want
to.

SITTING WOMAN: I'll read to
you.

SKYWATCHER: No.

SITTING WOMAN: Let's play
the cities game. You name a city, I name one that starts with your city's last
letter.

SKYWATCHER: Bujumbura
!

SITTING WOMAN: Antananarivo
!

SKYWATCHER: Oagadugu!

SITTING WOMAN: Ulan-Bator!

SKYWATCHER: Reykjavik, my girl,
Reykjavik
!
Go to your room, dear, she is here!

SITTING WOMAN: I'm leaving,
I'm leaving...

Out
the window, nothing can be seen or heard. However, the SKYWATCHER is definitely
talking to someone.

SKYWATCHER: Yes, I made up
a new poem. It's not good, though. Of course, I'll read it anyways...here: "Moles
cannot see the wonders of the sky for they live underground and cannot fly. But
when underground, they fly like arrows. They fly like black arrows no worse
than black sparrows." You liked that? I don't...Come tomorrow! I'll write more! [getting angry]
Why, why can't you be sure that you can come tomorrow?Do you have a boss or something? You're a
free bird. You sit on your cloud and fly to me. By the way, why is the cloud in
the form of
Iceland
?
[worrying] Why
don't you ever answer any of my questions? Who are you? A fairy? A ghost? A
woman? [listens
for a long time and then answers calmly] I know. Of course, the important
thing is that you love me. But you can't come down to me. Maybe someday, I'll
be able to come up to you. When I die, right? What do you mean, maybe sooner? I
can't get out of this bed when I'm alive! What do you mean, I'm lying? Aaaaaah!

Suddenly,
he jumps out of bed as if he has been stung He convulses and moves in a
rhythmic dance. Soon, the fast jerks become slow and he moves in a waltz. He
spins, holding his hand out toward the window as if he holds Her, invisible Iceland
.
However, the dance ends and the SKYWATCHER returns to bed. He cannot get up.

SKYWATCHER: [calls] My girl!

The
SITTING WOMAN appears immediately.

SITTING WOMAN: Has she
left?
SKYWATCHER: Yes. We danced. Can you imagine? I got up from this bed, danced
some crazy disco. Then, we danced the waltz.

SITTING WOMAN: [half to herself]...you poor
thing...

SKYWATCHER: You don't
believe me?

SITTING WOMAN: No. But
let's not talk about it.

SKYWATCHER: But, look! My
shirt is all wet!

SITTING WOMAN: [touches his shirt] I will
give you a new one. You said Reykjavik
,
yes? Koatsakoalkos!

SKYWATCHER: Sevastopol
!

[lights
dim]

Scene 2

VITALY
FRANTOV's kitchen. You can see a hallway with the telephone on a high
stand.SVETLANA is at the oven. FRANTOV
himself(he's about 40 years old),
sitting at the table, chops vegetables.

SVETLANA: Let's go to Sevastopol
on vacation.
My uncle lives there.

FRANTOV: What about
Koatsakoalkos? You want to go there? I have an Indian friend there. He has a
feather on his head and a bag of arrows on his back.

SVETLANA:Koatsakoalkos? Where's that?

FRANTOV: Ask the Indian! I
think it's either in Mexico
or
Chile
.
Somewhere in that basic area, anyways.

SVETLANA: So we're not
going to Sevastopol
?

FRANTOV: Of course, we'll
go. Tomorrow. I just have to make sure Gena leaves before we go.

SVETLANA: I have another
idea. How about we leave everything and fly to Los Angeles
?

FRANTOV: No, dear. Los Angeles isn't for me. I like it
here. My roots are here.

SVETLANA: But you're an
orphan!

FRANTOV: Not those roots!
My soul's roots! In America
,
I could never write you my phenomenal poems.

SVETLANA: [leaves what she was doing,
goes up to Frantov and puts her arms around him] Read me one. But hug me
tighter and read with a gentle, gentle voice.

FRANTOV: [in a gentle, gentle voice] Oceans
have depth. Mountains have height. You have depth in your eyes and your body
takes flight. What more could I need when you are so right?

SVETLANA: My god, how I
want to go to Koatsakoalkos! [returns to the stove and Frantov continues chopping the vegetables]. You know,
I understand Gena.What does he have
here? A room in a dorm? He doesn't even have anywhere to invite people for his
going away dinner. He had to ask you. The thing he needs is to run away from
this crazy place. That is exactly what he's doing.

FRANTOV: He himself is
crazy. He can't run away from the craziness because it is inside him. We're all
crazy...They're ready, dear. You can make your salad.

[he gets up and, during
Svetlana's next line, rummages around the kitchen murmuring "now where did I
put them"? In the end, he finds a pack of cigarettes behind the bread on the
bread rack]

SVETLANA: [making the salad] Now I
just have to bake the pizza and dress. Then, I'll be ready to go...whether to
Gena's going away dinner, or Sevastopol
,
or to your Indian friend. It's not a bad idea! Picture it: us riding in a
carriage with horses down a prairie past cowboy saloons. Oh, and past short
trees and gigantic cactuses! So gigantic that we'd need three days to get past
just one...listen, Vitia. There are no eggs for the pizza.

FRANTOV: [yawning and smoking] Go to
the market and buy some. It's only three minutes away.

The
telephone rings.

FRANTOV: [picking up the phone] Yes!
Oh...no, my friend is flying away and we're bidding him goodbye at my house...No, I
can't.I'm not the one inviting the
guests, he is! Tomorrow? Yes. Call me in the morning...what? I told you, I can't
today! But...[the
person on the other line drops the phone]. Women!

SVETLANA: What women dare
call and make my love sad?

FRANTOV: Oh, it's nothing.
Just my new girlfriend.

SVETLANA: Oh...well, I'm
going to the market.

FRANTOV: Like that? In your
bathrobe?

SVETLANA:It's only a three-minute walk. [she pecks him on the cheek
and runs off]

FRANTOV: The last thing I
want is for them to meet. It'll be like a soap opera. Oh, women, women...she'll
still come, you see. Nothing will happen if there's an extra person at the
dinner...oh, women!

The
doorbell rings. Frantov's FRIEND walks in.

FRIEND: You're alone?
Where's Svetlana?

FRANTOV: They'll come soon.
Both of them.

FRIEND: [sees the potatoes lying on
the table, grabs two, and starts juggling] Whop, whop! Catch! [throws one to Frantov who
catches it and puts it back on the table] Who's the second? [throws the remaining potato
from hand to hand]

FRANTOV: Inness

FRIEND: [juggling with the potato and
a pickle now] A princess?

FRANTOV: She's a modern
woman. I call her Inna. She has a wasp's waist, a dragonfly's eyes. But, when
she's in bed, she hops like a gazelle.

FRIEND: [drops the potato and pickle
onto the floor but doesn't pick them up. Instead, he picks up a table knife and
twists it back and forth in his hand] What are you going to do with
them both here? You think they'll get along?
FRANTOV: They'll have to. It's not like I invited her. The gazelle wanted to
come herself. She doesn't know what she's in for.

FRIEND: Do you think
they'll drive each other crazy?

FRANTOV: They're both crazy
for me.

FRIEND: Right...

FRANTOV: Well, it's not
like it's the first time that I'm stuck between a crocodile and tiger. We'll
just have to put them in separate corners and get them away from each other.

The doorbell rings. In half a minute,
Frantov, shocked, appears in the kitchen. Behind him is INNA in a bathrobe and
with a carton of eggs.

INNA: [puts the carton on the table]
What on earth happened here? Why are there vegetables on the floor? [picks up the potato and
pickle]

FRANTOV: What are you
wearing? There'll be people here! And...why the eggs?

INNA: There wasn't enough
to make the pizza!

FRANTOV: How did you know
that? Explain everything.

INNA: Of course I knew that
you needed eggs. A woman must always know what her man needs.

FRANTOV: Not to the extent
of eggs for a pizza, though!

INNA: To every extent, my
boy. [She
smiles and Frantov is stunned from her smile and stops what he is doing]

FRANTOV: [he has her in his embrace
and kisses her hungrily, saying the next line between kisses] Things
were so boring here without you! It's so good you're here. You smell so
amazing. What an aroma! Oh, how your breaths get urgent when you're in my paws!
You're the only one for me, the only woman in the world...

FRIEND: How about
postponing the intimacy?

FRANTOV: [calmly pulls himself away
from Inna] But why are you dressed like that?

INNA: I wanted to please
you. [happily] And I
got what I wanted.

FRANTOV: Listen...did you see
another woman in a bathrobe at the market?

INNA: Why, everyone there
was in bathrobes and everyone was buying eggs.

FRANTOV: Nothing else was
being sold?

INNA: Oh, there were tons
of things sold. Everyone was just buying eggs.

FRIEND: [juggling eggs] It must
be a before Easter sale.

FRANTOV: Easter? What are
you talking about? It's August!

FRIEND: Exactly. It's
before next Easter.

FRANTOV: [smiling] Oh, you
two...always driving me crazy.

FRIEND: [turning to Inna and stopping
the juggling] Have we drunk champagne together yet, madam?

FRANTOV: Gena, don't scare
the lady.

FRIEND: But we really
haven't drunk champagne together yet! Nobody poured or offered us any.I distinctly see a bottle right behind
you.Open it up! We still have two hours
until the others get here.

FRANTOV: That's not for the
guests.Get one from the table.

FRIEND: I can't. That's for
the others. Why don't you go out and buy one?

FRANTOV: For your money?

FRIEND: Of course not. Come
on, pal. Make your friend's last wish come true!

FRANTOV: [unhappily] Oh,
fine. [he
leaves]

FRIEND: [to Inna] Now, sit
down on that stool. Let's get to know each other.

INNA: [unkindly] We
already do. [she
sits down]

FRIEND: As the classics
say, once he sends his friend for a bottle, the bad guy starts flirting with
his woman. Like this. [he puts his hand on her leg]

INNA: [not moving, calmly, smiling] Take off
your claw before I bite it off.

FRIEND: [removing his hand] But I
don't care about the classics. I'm a foreigner now. I can litter you with
thoughts and ideas without caring if you take them in or not.

INNA: Litter somewhere
else. This isn't your home. There will be people here, and they wouldn't want
to walk into a littered house.

FRIEND: [juggling a carton of
cigarettes and pack of matches] Don't worry. The kitchen hasn't been cleaned
yet...you know, the first woman in the bathrobe is also his girlfriend. She went
to get eggs for the pizza and hasn't come back.

INNA:[raising her eyebrows] I wonder
where she is.

FRIEND: After you called,
she left for the market and hasn't returned.

INNA: We need to find her!
Someone must call her. I didn't want to...

FRIEND: She's probably at
some sauna or pool somewhere. Or maybe she's sipping a martini off in the Caribbean.

INNA: I couldn't have caused
that.

FRIEND: [stopping his juggling] She
really loved him.

INNA: Do you know her phone
number?

FRIEND: No. Vitaly knows,
but he would never call. So what? So she left. If Vitia kept track of all of
his girlfriends, it would become the only activity of his life. So, forget
about Svetlana and make sure that the same thing doesn't happen to you. And to
do that, you'll need my help. Point of advice number one: how to keep your man
from finding a new girlfriend.

INNA: This should be
interesting.

FRIEND: It's simple. Put a
noose around his neck and don't let go of it until he vows to marry you.

INNA: I think our love...

FRIEND: [continuesher sentence]...is
stronger than any noose, right? I've heard that phrase in this home more times
than I've heard my name. Believe me, Vitaly is like Don Juan. If you want to
keep him, make him marry you with force while he's still crazy about you. Tell
him that either he marries you or you leave right now and leave him alone in
bed tonight. It always works. If only one woman had listened to my advice, we
would have been able to stop many the tears from having been shed in this
house.

INNA: There is no way...

FRIEND: Hey! I'm just
giving you a suggestion. Anyways, I know you'll do what I said. You're like
that.

INNA: Oh, how I want to
scratch your face off right now...

FRIEND: You wanted to bite
off my face? Happily. [he extends his face towards her]

Suddenly, the door open and Frantov comes in,
carrying a bottle of champagne.

FRANTOV: [opens the bottle] Opa!

INNA: First, call Svetlana.

FRANTOV: [to Friend] What a
talker you are! You already told her about Sveta.

FRIEND: Of course.

INNA: If you won't call
her, give me her number and I will.

FRANTOV: The phone book is
by the phone. Her last name starts with the letter "Q".

INNA: [walks to the phone, finds
the number, and dials. The men watch quietly.] Hello? Is this
Svetlana?...Who is it then? Her sister? Can Svetlana come to the
phone?...Oh...Well, thank you. [puts down the phone] Svetlana told her sister to say that she immigrated
to the far north if anyone called.

FRIEND: What does that
mean?

INNA: I wasn't told
anything else.

FRIEND: What, did she
freeze herself in the fridge?

FRANTOV: [smiling] It's not
such a bad thing. Now, Inna and I can live happily with no girlfriends in our
way. Inna, my dear, let's drink to us!

INNA: Sure, let's drink to
your previous girlfriends. [she grabs the bottle and pours all of it down the sink]

FRIEND: Wow! Now, you've
impressed me. [kisses
her hand] Now that we don't have anything to drink, can I ask one
last favor? The guests will arrive in an hour. If you live close, could you
please run and change?

FRANTOV: He's right, dear.
You shouldn't intimidate the guests.

INNA: Well, since you both
want me to, sure. I live three blocks from here. I'll be right back. [she kisses Frantov and
leaves]

FRANTOV: Should we start
setting the table? [he gets up and starts towards the dining room]

FRIEND: There's no hurry.
Sit on the stool and have a cigarette with me.

[they sit and smoke]

FRIEND: What a gazelle you
have!

FRANTOV: They were all
gazelles. But I should probably stop on this one. It's about time I stop,
marry, and have little Frantovs, don't you think? I'll be old soon and I still
need to have enough time to continue the family name.

FRIEND: So I'm leaving for Los Angeles
without
getting to see the event I've been waiting for for the last twenty years? Is
Vitaly Frantov really going to marry? Or is this some joke?

FRANTOV: This isn't the
situation for jokes.

FRIEND: So you suddenly
want a wife?

FRANTOV: I have to get one
sometime. It might not be a bad idea. Just flowing on a sweet, steady river
with no surprises along the way.

FRIEND: I just think you're
afraid that you're getting older and if you don't hitch your girlfriend now,
there'll be no one else.

FRANTOV: That's not true.

FRIEND: But, you know, it's
not like you'll have a choice. Take my word for this, soon, she'll lasso you
and make you marry her or else.

FRANTOV: Don't over
exaggerate. Inna is a great woman. I've come to the age where that's what I
need: a great woman. With her own faults. Sveta was too much. She was like
adding thirty spoons of sugar to your tea.

FRIEND: Well, that's your
decision. But if she forces you to marry her, remember me.

[the doorbell rings]

FRIEND: Open the door for
your girl. [when
Frantov leaves] She bought the eggs, but is she ready to make the pizza?

[Frantov returns with Inna,
who is now stylishly dressed. Blackout. When the lights come back on, we are in
the same kitchen late at night. INNA, still in her stylish clothes, washes the
dishes. FRANTOV dries them and puts them on the table.]

FRANTOV: How I love the
time of the day when the night comes closer and closer!

INNA: Well, I love the
early, early morning on a weekend. You're half awake and so relaxed. You can
cuddle for a long, long time and then go back to sleep for a while. Love is
better in the morning too. It's warm and velvety like a river at the same hour.

FRANTOV: My favorite part
of the day is when the night is ahead. Everything is ahead: the caresses, the
fire, and the delicious sleep. No, sleep isn't part of it. The best part is
when your love is close, she's still dressed, and it's like I don't know what's
under her clothes. I guess what she's like naked...

INNA: Well, I love the
early, early morning.

[suddenly, the glass Inna is
holding slips out of her hands and crashes to pieces onto the floor]

FRANTOV: Oh, Inna, Inna...it
was a crystal glass.

INNA: I'm sorry. It slipped
out by itself.

FRANTOV: Oh, forget about
it. It broke by itself so it'll mend by itself. [he comes up to Inna and starts rapidly
kissing her. Between kisses, he talks with a passionate voice] How I
love the upcoming of our nights, my girl, my dearest gazelle. How I can't get
enough of your caresses, your aromatic body, your biting teeth, your scratching
claws, your rhumba dancing legs, your...

INNA: [slowly breaks free of his
embrace. Sternly.] First marry me, and then dance the rhumba. [nicer] You're
too used to winning women over all the time...

FRANTOV: [stares at her in shock] W...what are
you talking about? What wins? What strange humor you have!

INNA: It's not humor, it's
sarcasm. First sign the documents, then scratch me. For now, let's finish
washing the dishes, and then you can walk me back home. [in a whining voice] To
mo-oomy...

FRANTOV: M...mommy?
D...documents? What is this?

INNA: If you don't want to
marry me, you can find yourself another gazelle.

FRANTOV: Of course I want
to marry you! [he
tries to hug her again] But, right now, don't leave, dear. Don't leave me
alone, don't kill me, don't...

INNA: [walking away] After
our wedding, I won't leave you alone. So, are we washing or not?

FRANTOV: [calmly] Well,
sure. Walk away. I don't need you. You're right, there are so many gazelles out
there!

INNA: [her eyes suddenly fill with
blood and she starts shaking as if she's in a trance. She screams and hisses.] Oh, but
you won't leave me! Sssss! You won't get away! Sssss! You'll either marry me or
die! Sssss! I'm the daughter of the viper and I have poisonous saliva! [she licks his cheek] You kissed
me and now you're under my rule.I'm
also the daughter of the boa-I'll suffocate you on this dirty floor, in the
midst of these pieces of glass, in this puddle of spilled wine! [she kicks him down onto the
floor and squeezes his throat. Frantov doesn't struggle, he just looks at her
helplessly] Will you maaarry me? SSSSS!

FRANTOV: [in a coughed up voice] Yes...

INNA: Swear on your
backbone!

FRANTOV: [coughing] I swear...

INNA: [lets him go. He slowly gets
up and she, as if nothing had happened, continues washing the dishes] You're
not hurt, right?

FRANTOV: No, but what does
my backbone have to do with anything?

INNA: [jokingly shakes her wet
finger in front of his face] Just try not marrying me and you'll find out!

FRANTOV: So you won't leave
today?

INNA: No. You swore.

FRANTOV: [happy] Oo-la-la! How I love the upcoming of the night!

INNA: [dreamily] How I
love the early, early morning...[they leave with their arms around each other]

[blackout. The lights come back on to a dim
and we see FRIEND and SVETLANA sitting across from each other]

FRIEND: [he's juggling something, but
you can't see what] What would you do if you were the daughter of a viper and
boa?

SVETLANA: I'd hiss in the
bushes.

FRIEND: You're very modest.
In the bushes...most would hiss on their lover's neck in the situation.

SVETLANA: No, no. That
could lead to suffocation. I wonder...with whom will I go to Koatsakoalkos now?

Scene 3.

[The SKYWATCHER, fixed to his bed, and the SITTING WOMAN. She reads to
him.]

SITTING WOMAN: [puts down the book] There's
no point to me reading this. You already know this whole book by heart.

SKYWATCHER: But I love
listening to Pushkin in your voice.

SITTING WOMAN: Well, I'm
glad to make you happy. Now, tell me. What's on your mind?

SKYWATCHER: I was just
thinking. What if Iceland

is just a dream like Koatsakoalkos?

SITTTING WOMAN: But she
doesn't come to you on a cloud in the form of Koatsakoalkos. Or even in the
form of Mexico or
Chile-
you
never did find out where it is located.

SKYWATCHER: You think that
the answer to who she is is in her form?

SITTING WOMAN: Maybe.

SKYWATCHER: But we can't
solve her. And she won't tell us the answer. Even you, the one who cleans after
me, can't tell me who you are.

SITTING WOMAN: I'm a
sitting woman.

SKYWATCHER: See? So, then,
how do you know about Koatsakoalkos?

SITTING WOMAN: [laughing] What if
I'm the daughter of a viper and boa?

SKYWATCHER: Maybe you are.
You just don't know.

SITTING WOMAN: Calm down.
You're getting too nervous. Sometimes you shouldn't think about these things
too much.

SKYWATCHER: I'm already
nervous...look, it's night already.She
didn't come today.

SITTING WOMAN: Maybe she'll
come tomorrow at sunrise.

SKYWATCHER: How I love the
early morning. You wait to see if there'll be clouds in the sky or not. If there
are clouds, you create their personalities. Today there was one that looked
like a straw house with a ballerina dancing on top of it. Then there was a
wooden soldier on another cloud. And then, there was one of a man reading Hans
Christian Andersen. I could see the book cover very clearly.

SITTING WOMAN: Well, I love
the time of day when the night is ahead. You just lay and imagine what tomorrow
will bring and nothing is there to disturb you.

SKYWATCHER: Let's play a
game before bed.

SITTING WOMAN: Cities?

SKYWATCHER: No.
Associations. You name a word or phrase; I'll associate it with something. Then
we switch. The first to stop to think loses.

SITTING WOMAN: Pizza!

SKYWATCHER: A whole market
in bathrobes!...Boa!

SITTING WOMAN: The love of
a viper!...here's a hard one, Blue Whale!

[Skywatcher stops to think]

SITTING WOMAN: [clapping her hands] You lost!

SKYWATCHER: But there was
no Blue Whale.

SITTING WOMAN: What about
the rest of the things we said?

SKYWATCHER: They were
there.

SITTING WOMAN: Are you
sure?

SKYWATCHER: Positive

SITTING WOMAN: And you're
positive there was no Blue Whale?

SKYWATCHER: There wasn't.

SITTING WOMAN: Will there
be one?

SKYWATCHER: I don't know.

SITTING WOMAN: Are you
sure?

SKYWATCHER: About what?

SITTING WOMAN: [pause] Well,
then, let's have you use the pot and then go to bed.

SKYWATCHER: What about the
Blue Whale?

SITTING WOMAN: "Whales
cannot see the wonders of the sky..."

SKYWATCHER: "...for they live
underwater and cannot fly. But when underwater, they fly like arrows. They fly
like blue arrows no better than blue sparrows."

[they both laugh, like
children]

Break

Scene 4.

SKYWATCHER:
[talking to the invisible woman on the cloud] Can you at least answer
one question? One single question? Is it true that you're the daughter of a
viper and boa? Or were you her before?...What does that mean? Everything on earth
is both truth and a lie?...I know, I know. The important thing is that you come
to me almost every day and that you love me. Or is that too both truth and a
lie? No, that is only the truth. I know that for a fact...what do you mean,
partly? Who am I supposed to remember? The Blue Whale? How on earth do you know
about the Blue Whale?...you're right. But how would the sitting woman know about
Koatsakoalkos? Hey, hold on! How do you know about the sitting woman? I never
told you about her. You accidentally saw her through the window?...right. The
important thing is that you love me. Shall we dance?...What poetry? Oh, yes! I
dedicated my new poem to you. "I don't know any words, but I believe in love. I
don't know any words, but I believe in love. I don't know any words, but I
believe in love." Did you really like it? Oh, I...hey! Where are you going? What
about a dance? My girl, don't float beyond the horizon! [bawls like a small child] I want to dance, dance, dance! [cries]

[the
Sitting Woman enters the room]

SITTING
WOMAN: [strokes him on the head and calms him like a child] Don't cry,
my little boy, she'll definitely dance with you next time. She wanted to,
really. She just didn't have enough time. Don't be angry with us...

SKYWATCHER:
[he is calm now] What do you have to do with anything?

SITTING
WOMAN: I always have to do with everything when you're sad. What can I do to
make you happy again?

SKYWATCHER:
It's horrible: she already knows about the Blue Whale! It was only a night ago!
She knows about you too. Do you two secretly keep in contact?

SITTING
WOMAN: No, dear. She can just see a lot from her cloud.

SKYWATCHER:
She probably hated my poetry.

SITTING
WOMAN: I don't think so. I just think she was in a hurry.

SKYWATCHER:
She always says that she loves me.

SITTING
WOMAN: How can we not love you?

SKYWATCHER:
"We" again! Admit it, you secretly talk with her. Tell me, who is she?

SITTING
WOMAN: A woman on the cloud of Iceland
.
I do not know anything else. I swear, I've never seen her. And I don't think
she's seen me. I just say "we" since she loves you and so do I.

[the
doorbell rings. The Sitting Woman winces and the Skywatcher's hands start
shaking.]

SKYWATCHER:
Don't open it. It's a mistake. Nobody would come here.

[doorbell]

SKYWATCHER:
There's no one home. This house is completely empty. Nobody lives here.

[doorbell]

SKYWATCHER:
They're ringing for nothing. They could have as well rung the bell in front of
a grave.

[doorbell]

SITTING
WOMAN: Oh, I'll go. I'll send them away. [she quickly leaves]

SKYWATCHER:
Don't!

[we hear
the door being opened and a quiet conversation far away]

SITTING
WOMANS VOICE: I don't know who he is, but he insists on seeing you, dear.

SKYWATCHER:
Bring him in.

[the
Sitting Woman comes into the room, followed by Frantov]

FRANTOV:
[to the Skywatcher] So. Do you recognize me?

SKYWATCHER:
You know, I don't right away...say your name, maybe I'll remember...

FRANTOV:
Vitaly Frantov.

SKYWATCHER:
[he picks up the photo from the stand and turns it in his hands] I've
heard that name somewhere before...but where have we met? When? Please remind me...

FRANTOV:
I would prefer to have this conversation without bystanders.

SITTING
WOMAN: No you don't, dear gentleman! He's glued to the bed and can't defend
himself. I'm his only defense. Even if he tells me to go too, I will not.
Either talk with me in the room or...we lived just as well without you.

SKYWATCHER:
Calm down, my girl. Nobody's telling you to go.

FRANTOV:
Here, on your photo, is Svetlana with the last name that starts with a "Q".

SKYWATCHER:
[he turns the photo to the back] What about now?

FRANTOV:
What the...it's Inna the gazelle!

SKYWATCHER:
Yes, it's a double sided photograph. But you're naming strange names once again.

FRANTOV:
If it's not them, who is on these pictures?

SKYWATCHER:
You saw for yourself.

FRANTOV:
Are you saying that these women have different names?

SKYWATCHER:
If they're women and if they have names.

SITTING
WOMAN: And that depends on who is viewing the photos.

FRANTOV:
My name is Vitaly Frantov.

SKYWATCHER:
How interesting!

FRANTOV:
You're lying, right? You're lying that you didn't recognize me?

SKYWATCHER:
Everyone lies...I lie, you lie, we all walk as we lie

FRANTOV:
Fine, then. Does this ring a bell: [starts singing] "when a red squirrel
is far, when a rowboat rows through tar..."

SKYWATCHER:
Oh, I understand! You're spreading propaganda about your new album! You're a
singer, right? You want me to buy a CD or something like that! Probably yours.

FRANTOV:
So that's who I am?

[a
silhouette of Svetlana appears in the door]

SVETLANA:
What did you think? [she disappears]

FRANTOV:
[to the sitting woman, his voice shaking] Let me out of here!
SITTING WOMAN: Happily. [she leaves with Frantov. We hear the lock click and soon, she returns] What strange people live on planet Earth!

[both
laugh. blackout]

Scene 5.

[a
dead place. Either a field, a bog, or a cemetery with no graves. There is steam
coming out of the ground. Through the steam, we see the WITCH and EYE. Further
away, the dust covering him, is FRANTOV.]

EYE:
[swings his crutch forward] Oh, stop it, witch. How can you possibly
tell what the future will bring? You don't see the most important part of a
person: the eyes.

WITCH:
[points her long fingernails to his eyes] Well, I'm just about to push
yours out! You old no good fake! I see a person as a whole, not as certain body
parts like noses, ears, or eyes.

EYE:
What's with you today, witch? [turns to audience] The eyes, so you may
know, are the most important body parts! If you want, I'll tell you how old you
are just by your eyes. Or, I can tell you all how you'll die just by looking
into your eyes. You shrug away? You're scared!

WITCH:
Don't bother the people...sheesh, you old useless fake. Don't bother people's
heads! [moves forward, stretching out her fingers to his eyes] Oh, how I
do want to scratch them out!

EYE:
[taking a step back, frightened] Hey, hey, hey! Hey, witch! This isn't
humorous anymore!
WITCH: [about to strike] Oh, I'll scratch them out. How I'll scratch
them out!

[suddenly,
out of nowhere, FRIEND appears in a vivid, colorful circus robe]

FRIEND:
What the toadstools! [both the Eye and freeze and then stand up straight, side by side] Why did you bring a person here this late at night?

EYE:
You see, boss, I saw something in his eyes that I could only tell him here. We
were walking calmly when, suddenly, this witch started complaining.

WITCH:
He's lying, Chief. You know he's an old useless fake. I just wanted to tell the
person the truth. That's when this whole fight started. [points to Eye]He said I didn't know the truth.

EYE:
Just listen to her, boss! She's so sure that she has a talent that she doesn't!

WITCH:
Just look at him, Chief! How can you trust anything he does or says?

FRIEND:
Quiet, both of you!

EYE:
But, boss...

WITCH:
But, Chief...

FRIEND:
Silence! Now, Eye, go up to the person and tell him what you wanted to.

WITCH:
[mumbling unhappily] Of course! Eye, go there, Eye, tell him that...it's
always Eye!

FRIEND:
[threateningly] What are you mumbling, grandmother?

WITCH:
Oh, nothing, nothing. I was just counting crocodiles...

FRIEND:
Talk, Eye.

FRANTOV:
[his voice shakes] Gena! I was
terrified when I tried to flee and couldn't. My legs were like cotton. Where am
I?

FRIEND:
See, toadstools, this person is going crazy with you two around. He called me,
the Chief of all the souls, the God of juggling, Gena! What have you done to
him? You will both be punished. Now, Eye, speak!

EYE:
[peers deeply into Frantov's eyes. It's obvious that Frantov is uncomfortable, but he cannot look or move away] In your eyes is immobility.
And, at the same time, a longing...for something light, pure, and puzzling.
Probably for love. However, you will only be able to feel it when you're
immobile. That is your fate.

FRANTOV:
Could you say that more clearly? Without any fog?

EYE:
You will have a huge soul movement while your body is not movable.

FRIEND:
You never did marry Inna. You swore on your backbone, remember?

FRANTOV:
All of that is a stupid thing, Gena or the God of juggling or whoever you are.
I am so careful now that there are more chances that I'd give birth than fall.

FRIEND:
You don't have to fall. One perfect morning, you could just wake up with a
broken backbone.

EYE:
And with a huge movement of the soul.

WITCH:
[to Frantov] They're lying. Both of them are lying!

FRIEND:
[angrily] You will be punished severely if you keep talking.

WITCH:
I don't care. I just want to tell him the way things will really occur.

EYE:
Shut her up, boss!

FRIEND:
Why? Let's hear her myths and useless words out.

WITCH:
[to Frantov] Well, when you break your backbone...

FRANTOV:
Again?!

WITCH:
Why "again"? You'll only break it once. Only there won't be anything [mimicking Eye] "light, pure, and puzzling". There will only be strong
discoordination, craziness, and a confusing mixture of feelings and memories.
And no love will cure you from the torture, numerous questions without answers,
and many days and nights of staring at the ceiling. It will seem like it's
endless, endless, endless...

FRANTOV:
Get this angry witch away from me! I'd much rather have the Eye.

EYE:
She's just gone crazy from anger. Everything will be like I said because love
has the power to break all torture and terror.

WITCH:
[spitting on the ground, turns to Frantov again] He's just making you
feel better. Such a philosopher! No. Everything will be just as I said.

[Suddenly,
Svetlana appears in a bathrobe]

SVETLANA:
The Blue Whale agreed.

FRIEND:
Oh? Fine, then. [to Frantov] Now, listen to me carefully. The Blue
Whale, the God of the Ocean, which is the source of all life on Earth, agreed
to let you see yourself a few years from now. You can see yourself, lying on a
bed with a broken backbone. However, I'm not sure if the you in the future will
recognize the you right now. You in the future will be a different person with
different thoughts and feelings.

FRANTOV:
Don't worry. I think I'll be able to recognize myself. Well, why not? This
sounds like an exciting opportunity. Who could say no to excitement?

FRIEND:
Fine, then. At least you'll be certain that we're telling you the truth, not
just some made up predictions.

EYE:
Maybe he shouldn't. I don't know how the future Him will react.

WITCH:
Of course he should! It is very rare to be allowed to see yourself through time
during life. He shouldn't just let go of this opportunity.

SVETLANA:
And the Blue Whale did say yes.

FRIEND:
Did he tell you how this is to happen?

SVETLANA:
Yes. First, you must leave us alone.

FRIEND:
Why?

SVETLANA:
Otherwise, nothing will work out. So fade away.

FRIEND:
Never! Why should I?

[sound of
thunder]

SVETLANA:
See? The Blue Whale is angry.

FRIEND:
[frowning] Oh, fine. We're disappearing. [he, along with the Witch and Eye disappear]

SVETLANA:
[throws herself on Frantov] Remember this and never forget: Iceland

will float beyond the horizon and will one day take you along with her. I don't
know who will be on her. It might be me, it might be half-me, or it might not
be me at all.
Iceland

is the North while we dreamed of the South, of sizzling Koatsakoalkos. Don't be
offended, dear, but it is true that you threw away our Mexico, our
Chile
. You sent me to the North
like this, in a bathrobe. In the North, I'm helpless. I don't own
Iceland
. But
you didn't give me any other choice...

FRANTOV:
I don't understand. What Iceland
?
What are you talking about?

SVETLANA:
[steps back and gets serious] Fine, then. Let's start. I don't care how
repulsive this will be to you, but you will have to kiss me very strongly and
passionately. The way only you can kiss. After that, you must turn your back to
me and walk, without looking back, to your home. Don't unlock the door.
Instead, ring the doorbell. He will be there. Let's not linger. The Blue Whale
hates that.

[they kiss
passionately for a long time. Then, Frantov turns his back to her and quickly
leaves.]

SVETLANA:
[shaking her head] Oh, how wonderful, how wonderful, how wonderful...

[blackout.
The lights come on to a dim and all the characters, excluding the Skywatcher
and Sitting Woman, hold hands and run in a circle. In the center is a small
circle of light. After some time, one of the characters leaves the circle,
walks into the light, and says their line. Then, they return to the circle and
constant movement. In the background sounds an old tango. When someone speaks,
the music is brought down to almost silence. The lines are as follows:]

FRANTOV: [smoking worriedly]"Moles
cannot see the wonders of the sky for they live underground and cannot fly. But
when underground, they fly like arrows. They fly like black arrows no worse
than black sparrows."

SVETLANA: [cuddling herself in her bathrobe] Don't
be offended, dear, but it's true that you threw away our
Mexico, our

Chile
.

FRANTOV: [smoking worriedly and singing] "When you
wish upon a star..."

FRIEND: [juggling eggs] The Blue Whale, the God of
the Ocean, which is the source of all life on Earth, agreed to let you see
yourself a few years from now.

FRANTOV: [smoking worriedly and singing] "When a red
squirrel is far..."

WITCH: [laughing wickedly] It's endless, endless,
endless...

FRANTOV: [smoking worriedly and singing] "What the
grayest songs are..."

EYE: [shaking his crutch]
However, you will only be able to feel it
when you're immobile. That is your fate.

FRANTOV: [smoking worriedly and singing] "When the
rowboats row through tar..."

INNA:
[jokingly shakes her wet finger in front of his face] Just try not marrying me and you'll find out!

FRANTOV:
[thinking, with a cigarette in his dropped hand] "I don't know any words, but I believe in love. I don't
know any words, but I believe in love. I don't know any words, but I believe in
love."

Scene 6.

[The
Skywatcher sleeps while the Sitting Woman sits nearby and reads a book]

SKYWATCHER:
[wakes up and calls] My
girl!

SITTING
WOMAN: [quickly putting her book down on the stand] I'm here, dear!

SKYWATCHER:
[beaming] Now I know
everything.

SITTING
WOMAN: What?

SKYWATCHER:
Everything. About her, about you, about that strange man that came here today.
And also, about pizza, bathrobes, Koatsakoalkos, and the Blue Whale.

SITTING
WOMAN: What sort of a dream did you have?

SKYWATCHER:
Oh, it wasn't a dream! I wasn't dreaming at all. At least, I don't remember
dreaming. I just woke up and understood that I know everything. I understood
everything right away.

SITTING
WOMAN: So tell me!

SKYWATCHER:
Tell you? Did you ever tell me anything about yourself? [mimicking
her] "I'm a sitting woman, my boy, a sitting
woman..."

SITTING
WOMAN: But it is like that.

SKYWATCHER:
Of course, who else could you possibly be? No, now, I've deciphered everything.
I know everything. Plus, I know exactly what will happen to me in a half hour.
[falls asleep again, but only for about half a minute. After
he wakes up] My girl!

SITTING
WOMAN: I'm here! So, what will happen in a half hour?

SKYWATCHER:
[surprised] In a half hour?
What's supposed to happen in a half hour?

SITTING
WOMAN: You're asking me? You're the one who was saying that you suddenly
understood everything about everyone.

SKYWATCHER:
It's impossible to know everything about everyone. I would never say anything
like that. You're pale. Maybe you fell asleep by my bed.

SITTING
WOMAN: [softly and somewhat sadly] Maybe.

SKYWATCHER:
Let's play associations.

SITTING
WOMAN: No. You always lose at that as soon as things come to the Blue Whale.

SKYWATCHER:
I won't lose now!

SITTING
WOMAN: Fine. Blue Whale!

SKYWATCHER:
Iceland

floats beyond the horizon!

SITTING
WOMAN: I don't understand.

SKYWATCHER:
Didn't you know that Blue Whales live in northern seas?

SITTING
WOMAN: That's not an association!

SKYWATCHER:
It's close enough.

SITTING
WOMAN: Well, what if I say this room in a half hour?

SKYWATCHER:
[laughs] Iceland
floats
beyond the horizon!

SITTING
WOMAN: What about me?

SKYWATCHER:
It's enough that I love you.

SITTING
WOMAN: Maybe for someone it's enough...but I have one last association

SKYWATCHER:
Oh, no you don't! It's my turn! The daughter of a viper and boa. Your
association?

SITTING
WOMAN: I don't know. I give up. Tell me about the clouds.

SKYWATCHER:
Today they don't have any form. Or maybe I've just forgotten how to read them.

SITTING
WOMAN: That's impossible.

SKYWATCHER:
[echoing] That's impossible.

SITTING
WOMAN: What if we look together?

SKYWATCHER:
[echoing] What if we look
together?

SITTING
WOMAN: See? There's a two-humped camel!

SKYWATCHER:
It's a whole caravan of camels!

SITTING
WOMAN: No. It's only one.

SKYWATCHER:
They float one after the other. Then, they form a straight line and come
together. They get closer and closer...it's a spinning circle! Yes, a spinning
circle of camels! Of two humped whales that circle around some island...it's Iceland
!
Iceland
!

SITTING
WOMAN: Should I leave?

SKYWATCHER:
Run, fly away!

[the
Sitting Woman quickly leaves]

SKYWATCHER:
[talking to the invisible woman outside the window] You came to invite me to a dance?...No? I didn't guess
right? Can I guess? If I do guess, will you tell me the truth? You came so that
I could read a poem to you? No? Then you came to explain something to me? Not
really? Well, maybe you came just to be with me? I'm getting warmer? What?...Not
you with me but I with you? We'll ride on a cloud? Really? [he
gets out of bed and walks to the window]
Will the ride be long? Should I dress warmer?...You're right. I won't need
clothes. The important thing is that you love me. [he
extends his hand to the invisible woman and disappears out the window]

[Blackout.
When the lights come back on, we see the same room. Only now, the bed is made
and the nightstand is empty. Inna sits on a chair. Svetlana stands and leans on
the windowsill. On the edge of the bed is the Sitting Woman in a white coat.
The Friend enters.]

FRIEND:
In ten minutes, we can leave. The body is in the car. Now we just have to fill
out the death certificate and we'll be off. Any minute now, the chief doctor
and Andrew Matveevitch should come in here. And there they are!

[the Eye
and Witch enter]

EYE:
You can leave soon.

INNA:
Andrew Matveevitch, thank you so much for watching him, for your hard work...

EYE:
Oh, no need to thank me. It's my job. Thank her. [he points to the Sitting Woman]

WITCH:
Your friend was lucky. Andrew Matveevitch is the best doctor in our clinic and
Irina is one of the best nurses.

SVETLANA:
[sighs] If only he was saved...

WITCH:
We did everything we could. But it was a hard case. He was locked inside his
own world. It seems like it came after a major shock.

EYE:
Actually, a situation like this can be curable. Here, though, we had an
irreversible brain cutoff. We tried to talk to him, to make him talk, but there
were no results. Ira, dear, he never did say a word, did he?

SITTING
WOMAN: No. It seems, though, that, ever since he came here, he was thinking
very hard about something. He would look out the window or at the photograph so
deeply, I'm sure something was going through his mind. He had a photo of you [she gestures to Svetlana] up there. I changed it to try to get him to talk. I
changed the photo to a greeting card with a Blue Whale. It didn't work. He just
kept staring at the card and thinking. All like before.

SVETLANA:
If only we could know what Vitalik Frantov saw before leaving us...

WITCH:
I think he saw images that may not have made sense to any of us.
Hallucinations, possibly.

SVETLANA:
I think he was writing poems. Vitalik wrote poems a long time ago. They were so
amazing.

SITTING
WOMAN: Oh, I almost forgot! In the pocket of his shirt, we found a piece of
paper with poetry. I put it on the on the nightstand, but the patient threw it
off immediately. So, I put it away. [she takes out a crumpled piece of paper]
Here.

INNA:
[takes the sheet and reads] "I don't know any words, but I believe in
love. I don't know any words, but I believe in love. I don't know any words,
but I believe in love." I think he wrote this right before the trauma.

[Svetlana
breaks down crying and quickly walks out of the room. The Sitting Woman
follows.]

FRIEND:
Sveta really loved him.

EYE:
And he loved her?

FRIEND:
To tell you the truth, I don't think Vitalik ever really loved anyone. He was a
Don Juan. He just stopped his chain of girlfriends on Svetlana. She's still
positive that he would have married her if not for what happened.

INNA:
She's not positive about anything! She just loved him and that's that. It was
hard not to love him.

FRIEND:
You hear that? That's why I never showed him my Inna before our wedding. When
he saw her at my wedding, I think his eyes sparkled and she too, I think,
wasn't heartless towards him.

INNA:
[ruffles her husband's hair] Oh, what a talker you are! At least stop
for today! It was only a year after our wedding that the tragedy happened with
Vitia. You had just come back from Los
Angeles
. And, anyways, he always acted very calm and
held back around me.

FRIEND:
Then let's leave it at that.

[Svetlana
enters. Her eyes are red.]

SVETLANA:
I think he wrote that poem for me, don't you, Gena?

FRIEND:
Of course.

INNA:
Of course he did. For whom else would he write it?

SVETLANA:
So I did manage to wake up some love inside him?

EYE:
Of course. Who wouldn't love a woman like you?

SVETLANA:
Oh, you don't know him...but, I think he loved me for real! Right, Gena?

FRIEND:
Of course, Sveta.

SVETLANA: [crying] Why did he leave our happiness? Why did
he have to go?

EYE:
Calm down. He's in a better place now than he was yesterday. He's in a better
place than us right now, that's a definite. Calm down.

[The
Sitting Woman enters with documents and papers]

SITTING
WOMAN: Ok. The signatures are there. You may leave. We need to bring a new
patient into this room.

WITCH:
Someone new has come?

SITTING
WOMAN: Yes. They just brought him and are looking for you. Here's his passport.

WITCH:
[reading] Frantov, Vitaly...an interesting last name. What's wrong with
him?

SITTING
WOMAN: A broken backbone and a shutdown of the brain after a shock. Take a look
yourself, though.

WITCH:
Of course, I'll take a look. [sighs] It's endless, endless, endless...

SVETLANA:
[shaking her head warily] What will the Blue Whale say now?